Christian Marriage

Part A - Choosing the Right Partner

Gen 1: 28, Gen 2: 18, 1 Cor 7:1-9, 2 Cor 6:14-16

Marriage is the state of relationship of being husband and wife. It is meant to be between two opposite sex of male and female. God gave us an example by creating Eve a female and Adam a male. Marriage is an institution ordained by God and it is as old as the garden of Eden. It is a life-long union of a man and a woman who give themselves to each other in love and trust.

Jesus Christ honoured marriage and that was why he was present at the marriage in Cana of Galilee. God ordained marriage for three major reasons.

1. For mutual fellowship Gen 2:18
2. To avoid adultery and fornication 1 Cor 7:1-12
3. For procreation Gen 1:18

When God created Adam, He said "it is not good for a man to be alone, I will make him an help meet for him", hence He created Eve. In 1 Cor 7:2, "nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let everyman have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband". If you can not remain single get your own spouse. God said in Gen 1:28, "be fruitful and multiply". For these reasons God ordained the institution of marriage.

Some processes are involved in Marriage:

The first one is choosing a partner. This sermon will be based on biblical way of choosing a right partner. God who ordained it should be at the center. It should be approached with dignity and fear of the Lord. It is sacred, should be honoured and be entered into responsibly and in the love of God. It should not be rushed into just to satisfy your carnal lust. Before you can start to think of searching for a partner, there are some signs to look out for. They are signs of maturity even though the bible does not mention or dictate age.

These signs are good indicators for readiness:

1. Feeling of loneliness in the midst of parents, siblings and relations Eccl 4:9-12
2. Sex drive - 1 Cor 7:7-9. It is natural to have feelings but it is scriptural to allow such feelings to be exercised only between you and your marriage partner.
3. Family pressure - when parents and relations are reminding you and asking about your partner. They are sending signals that you should be getting ready. However, family pressure should not lead you to taking wrong steps. Partner should not be imposed on you.
4. Maturity at business - when you are occupying a leadership position in your calling or profession, certainly you are ready for such. Your relationship with God must be cordial because he has to be at the centre of it. There is God's perfect will for choosing a partner and this can be achieved through:

• Fervent Prayer
• Reading the scripture because the word of God guides aright. Ps 119:105 ," Thy word is a lamp onto my feet and a light unto my path"
• Your pastor and marriage counselor can assist with prayer Prov 11:4
• Also you can be led to your partner through the gift of the Holy Spirit, through the word of wisdom, prophecy, dreams, visions and even through your spiritual leaders.
• You could meet your partner miraculously; you may meet and things may just be working out well towards the same goal. Don't forget that our God is a God of miracles and He is still in the business of doing them.
• A partner should not be imposed on male or female and it should also not be by a match making exercise.

Marriage is a life time journey. Both partners must be satisfied with each other's physical disposition, make up and outlook to life. This is because somebody you will live the rest of your life with must be acceptable to you.

The 'husband to be' must at least have good prospects considering skills, capacity and competences. Marriage requires an appreciable level of financial independence to raise a home. A job seeker should settle with job first before considering marriage. Marriage can be delayed if you are financially independent.

Another thing to consider is age. The gap should not be too wide either way. But there must be love and understanding between the two. The consent of the 'bride to be' family is very important and also that of the 'groom to be'. Get the blessings of your parents before you get along. You need their consent and blessings. Afterwards in Gen 24:1-4, Abraham sent his eldest servant to go in search of a wife for his son Isaac. Your parents have a vital role to play. They need to pray along with you. Carry them along.

Finally the spiritual oneness of both of you is very important. This attitude is guided by what the bible says in 2 Cor 6:14-16. Sometimes, people wonder if they could marry outside their faith. Let the word of God guide you. There is a blessing pronounced on the Godly. Choose your partner is a Godly way. Ps 1:1-3.

After you have fulfilled all above, courtship starts.

Courtship in the scriptural way is the time to make restitution. Time to put things right with God, man and your partner. It is a period to know each other very well and to pray together. Nothing about the past should be hidden from each other. It is the period to know each other's family background and family members. However, knowing each other well excludes sleeping together, living together and sex. Sex before marriage is fornication and it is a sin. Please avoid it. But if you have committed the sin or you are still committing it, stop it. Confess it, ask for forgiveness and repent totally. Never go back to it. Prayerfully prepare for other processes until your wedding day.

May the Lord guide you and lead you to the right partner in Jesus Name.

Prayer

Lord Almighty in the name of Jesus, connect me with my partner and grant me the grace to go about it in a Godly manner so that I can have a Christian home and enjoy all the blessings of marriage. AMEN

Strongholds

Gal 5:19-21, 1 Cor 6:9-10, Col 3:5-8

Strongholds are works of the flesh and once they permeate into one's system, they may be very difficult to break away with. It can be likened to a bondage which dominates and rules over an individual's life.

Examples of Stronghold
Adultery, fornication, lying tongue, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, strife, variance, emulation, heresies, envying, murder, drunkenness, reveling, sedition, blasphemy, filthy communication, malice, prayerlessness, lukewarmness, unbelief and doubt, dressing nude, greed, pride, anger, slander and stealing.

Sources of Strongholds
Strongholds can emanate from the family background, environment, peer-group influence, social background, societal values or even from demonic spirits. I like to consider a few of them.

Anger: Numbers 20:7-11
Moses anger led him to disobey God and it eventually deprived him of getting to the promised land. He could not take the isrealites to the promised land. Brethen, have you ever lost some privileges because of anger? You can prevent it. Anytime you are provoked to the point of anger, imbibe the habit of singing hymns and praises unto the Lord. Ask for His grace to be able to control your emotions.


Drunkennes: Gen 19:30-38
Lot's daughters got thier father drunk with wine and stoopped to incest; they slept with their father. Drunkenness apart from being a purse drainer and being hazardous to one's health as it may cause liver cirrhosis; damage other organs of the body or even lead to sudden death; it can impair or affect one's judgement, temperament and decisions or temporary loss of your reasoning abilities as it happened to Lot. Are you hooked on wine or alcohol? Do not allow alcohol to rule you.

Dressing Nude: Gen 3:21
God clothed Adam and Eve with garments he made from coats of skins. God did this to cover their nakedness and perhaps prevent them from being beaten by harsh weather conditions. If primarily dresses are to cover one's nakedness, why are you exposing body conditions parts that you are to cover? Dressing nude does not make you responsible or beautiful. Woe to world because of the things that cause people to sin. Such things must come, but woe to the man through whom they come. Therefore, you should not dress or appear in a manner that would allow others to sin. Matthew 18:7.

Lying: Act 5:1-11
Lying is a conscious attempt to deceive. Ananias and Sapphira lied to God and God's people. The punishment they got was instant death. Are you still lying? Your punishment may not be instant death, but lying destroys your testimony about Christ. Perhaps, you tell lies to evade punishment or to please people to make yourself look good. Lying is of the devil.

Murder: Gen 4:8-12
Cain became envious and killed his junior brother Abel because God accepted Abel's offering and looked on him with favour. God placed a curse on Cain that when he tilled the ground, it would not yield crops and that he would be a restless wanderer on the earth. Brethe, Cain started with envy and jealousy and eventually led to murder. Learn to control your emotions. Do not get in the habit of comparing yourself with others. You are unique and specially made. If Cain had not compared himself with his brother, perhaps he would not have been a murderer. You would not be a murderer in Jesus Name.

Adultery: 2 Sam 11:4-27
David committed adultery with Bathesheba and sent Bathesheba's husband, Uriah to the warfront so that he could have full possession of her. Uriah eventually died at the warfront and Bathesheba moved into David's house. But the thing David had done displeased the Lord. The seed of adultery died. God also pronounced that the sword shall never depart from his house and his wives shall be taken by people that are close to him and shall lie with them. Learn from David's predicament. Flee from the lust of the flesh and be faithful to your partner. Do not bring down curses on your family.

Pride: Isa 14:12-16
Lucifer occupied an important position in the kindgom of God among the angels, but he became proud and rebellious. As a result, he lost the privileged position. God sent him out of heaven and since then he is been roaming about the earth with one third of the angels that followed him from heaven seeking whom he may devour. Pride goes before downfall. What is making you proud? Is it wealth, position or beauty? You can be dispssessed of them all. You will not fall in Jesus name. Remember Lucifer fell from grace to grass.

Brethen, you have known what strongholds are and how they can affect your life. The Bible says in James 2:10-11, that whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point of one is guilty of breaking all the law and such person shall not inherit the Kingdom of God.

What is your stronghold? Will you allow adultery, anger, fornication, greed, lying, drunkenness, murder or pride and the likes to rob you of eternity? God forbid. You have to cut them off. Identify your stronghold and deal with it as discussed below.


Dealing with strongholds
The bible says our weapons of warfare are not carnal. To deal with stronghold, you have to embrace the sword of the spirit and pray without ceasing. Read the word and live it. You may need to change your environment if the stronghold emanates from your there. It may also involve you cutting off your friends and replacing them with believers. Jesus should be your role model.

Do not see pulling down strongholds as a difficult task. In Romans 17:19-25, Apostles Paul cried out to God when he discovered that the good things he loved to do, he was not able to do them and the evil things he did not want to do were those things he was doing. Finally, he said, "What a wretched man I am. Who will rescue me from this body of death. Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ". So, who will rescue you from these strongholds? God will surely rescue you through Jesus Christ.

Prayer
Lord Almighty, in the name of Jesus, deliver me from all kinds of strongholds and grant me dominion over them. I also pray that the devil will not have a hold on me. AMEN

Prayer Can Change Your Situation

1 Chronicles 4:9-10, 1 Samuel 1:9-20, Esther 4:16 - 5:3, Daniel 2:16-18, Acts 12:4-7, 2 Kings 2:1-5

Prayer is communication between man and God in the name of Jesus Christ through the power of the Holy Spirit. It is addressed to God in the form of supplication, adoration, praise, contrition, love, thanksgiving or in order to ask for something. It is the walking stick of a Christian and a potent weapon available to every child of God. It is the primary medium through which we commune with God to obtain our needs, intercede for others and receive powers to wrestle against principalities and powers. It can be likened to a telephone call to heavens headquarters to effect changes or to receive both in the physical or spiritual realms. Prayer can be offered openly, privately, individually or collectively.

Jesus Christ knew the utmost significance and effect of prayers and its power to change situations. He taught us how to pray in Matthew 6:9, to our Father in Heaven while on earth. He dedicated Himself fully to the ministry of prayers, John 17:1. The Bible tells us to "pray without ceasing". 1 Thessalonians 5:17.

Prayer can change sorrow to joy, death to life, barrenness to fruitfulness, failure to success, stagnation to promotion, lack to abundance, shame to glory, dishonour to honour, impossibility to possibility. No wonder the Psalmist says in Psalm 121:1-2, "I will lift up my eyes to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth". Jeremiah 33:3a says "Call to me and I will answer you". Call on Him now, reach Him with your prayers and surely your situation will change for better in Jesus name. Amen.

Let us consider some people in the Bible who have used prayers to effect positive changes in their situations and in the situations of people around them. People like Jabez, Hannah, Esther, Hezekiah, Elijah and Daniel to mention a few.


Change From Sorrow To Honour
1 Chronicles 4:9-10. Jabez was named a child of sorrow by his mother because she said she gave birth to him in and with sorrow. At a point, Jabez got tired of his situation and prayed earnestly and fervently to God to change his situation. Jabez called on God of Israel saying, "Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me and keep from harm so that I will be free from pain". And God granted his request. Man of sorrow became a honourable man. Have you been stigmatised over any issue? Has the world given you a name God has not given you? The Lord that answered Jabez is still there.

Barrenness to Fruitfulness
1 Samuel 1:9-20. Hannah, wife of Elkanah though loved so much by her husband was barren. She was always tormented, provoked and humiliated. She was always sorrowful and dejected; she wanted this situation to change. She went to the tabernacle at Shiloh which is the religious centre of the nation to pray with a heavy heart. She prayed and wept bitterly to God. After making her petition known to God, her countenance changed and the Lord remembered her and she became a mother of seven children. Afterwards the Bible says "Weeping may endure for the night, but joy cometh in the morning". Has anybody tormented, provoked and humiliated you? The Lord who changed Hannah's story is still there.

Special Favour
Ester 4: 16 - 5:3. Esther prayed and fasted for three days with her people in Shushan to obtain favour in the sight of king Ahasuerus to save the Jews from destruction. She was even ready to perish because death was the punishment for going to the king when not invited. But because she prayed and fasted, instead of death, it was favour she obtained and the king granted her request. People were saved from destruction. Is there anything threatening you, your family or community? God who favoured Esther and granted her request is still there. God who owns the heart of the kings, your boss and everybody is still there. Your prayers can effect changes positively. You can add fasting to your prayers to fast track the impacts.

Captivity to Freedom
Acts 12:4-7. The church interceded for Peter while King Herod held him imprisoned awaiting death sentence. The church members prayed without ceasing to God to change Herod's stand and God heard and sent an angel to Peter. The angel came upon him and a light shined in the prison and he smote Peter on the side, the iron gates and chains loosened and Peter was set free. Are you in any form of bondage or captivity? Financial, social, economic or spiritual? God can send an angel to you to set you free. Prayers offered can set the captives free. Start to intercede for people, for your community, the missionaries on the mission field and those held captives.

Change From Imminent Death to Life
2 Kings 2:1-5. Despite the fact that God sent Prophet Isaiah to Hezekiah to inform him to put his house in order and prepare for death (just as some doctors would sometimes pronounce imminent death for some patients), Hezekiah turned his face to the wall and prayed to God and wept bitterly. God heard his prayers and changed his stand by sending the same Isaiah to him. God even added fifteen years to Hezekiah's and delivered him and the city he dwelt in from the Assyrians. Has anybody told you that sickness is unto death? Who has said it when the Almighty God has not? As Hezekiah did, you can do better to effect positive change. God will surely deliver you from the pangs of sickness and you will live to enjoy the fruits of your labour. However, if you pray and God grants you the grace to live longer, restitute, be right with your God, guard your salvation with trembling and fear and be ready to make it to heaven at all cost. Psalm 91:16 says "With long life I will satisfy you". So pray until something happens.

Divine Knowledge And Wisdom
Daniel 2: 16-18. Daniel with his three friends prayed to God to reveal and interpret king Nebuchadnezzar's dream. God gave Daniel knowledge and wisdom to interpret the king's dream. The prayer offered was more effective than panic and it saved them and all the wise men of Babylon from death which the king had promised if nobody could interpret his dream. Won't you pray? You better start if you have not cultivated the habit of praying. Prayer can move mountains, can level mountains and can reverse the irreversible. Pray to God in the name of Jesus through the power of the Holy Spirit until something happens.

Worry, weeping, anxiety can not change situation, they only make situation worse. Why worry when you can pray? He says call upon me and I will answer you. The righteous prays ahead of evil days and his prayer availeth much. Make prayer part and parcel of you. Be a prayer champion.

Prayer
Father, give me the grace to appreciate the power of prayer. Let me be able to set myself apart for prayer in Jesus name. AMEN