Christian Marriage

Part B Relationship In Marriage


Gen 2:24, Gen 24:53-54, Heb 13:4, 1 John 4:11

Part A of this sermon ended with discussion on courtship while this part B examines relationship in marriage. As you get along with courtship don't relax, avoid spiritual laziness, still pray and seek the face of the Lord. Avoid pre-marital sex, don't allow it to erode your marriage. Don't allow sin to hinder it. I believe God is already guiding you as discussed in part A. Spend your bachelorhood or spinsterhood in glorifying God.

Marriage is honourable in all and the bed undefiled, Heb 13:4. It is the responsibility of a man in particular to have a sound source of livelihood. For ladies, don't be too desperate to bear the title "Mrs". You need the wisdom of God at each step.

The courtship period is to study each other very well. You can not depend on your own intelligence. You need the wisdom of God to overcome the challenges. The key to a successful marriage is love. 1 John 4:11. "Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another". Delving into it without God is testament to failure, what follows courtship are introduction, engagement and wedding. There will be exchange of gifts from groom's and bride's family. But it has to be done in moderation and in proportion. Gen 24:53, Gen 43:11. Culture and customs that are contrary to the Holy Scriptures must be discarded. Don't overspend, don't borrow and dress moderately. For the wedding, you need to file a notice. There should be no secrecy about it. Parents of both partners, the church and your pastors must be involved. Wedding is for one day, there could be merry making. Gen 24:54 "And they eat and drink, he and the men that were with him, and tarried all night". Bride's dress must be honourable to cover the vital parts of the body and so also ladies partaking in the wedding ceremony must dress well.

Marriage is for better for worse. Before the bride or groom says I do to the wedding vow, everything about each other must be considered. Our Lord has guaranteed us a blissful life in marriage when he pronounced blessing upon the first wedding Gen 1:28. It is until death do you part, no divorce. When you vow to cleave, Gen 2:24, to your spouse, it means you will not engage in any extra-marital relationship forthwith. Anything outside this brings shame and dishonour to the relationship. When the father or a representative of the father of the woman steps out to give away the woman over to the priest, it means under no circumstance should the parent give the bride to another man. When the priest as a representative of God hands over the woman (bride) to the man (groom), it means everything done at this point of solemnisation of marriage sacrament is awesome and sacred. Whatever God has joined together, let no man put asunder.

The wedding vow is taken, the certificate is signed at the priest pronounces them as husband and wife. The wedding blessings are pronounced and prayers are offered. After the wedding ceremony, the newly wed have the right to live together as husband and wife. A happily married minister can advice on how to live in harmony and peace to have a successful marriage. A marriage counselor should take them through sex education.

Marriage is sacred and awesome. It is your responsibility to make sure that your marriage is successful. Marriage relationship is superior to any other relationship. Ideally couple should live alone, they should not live with their parents. It is not ideal too, for parents or parents-in-law to live with couple. However, if a parent-in-law comes to help nurse a baby, it does not mean the parents should not be taken care of especially when they are sick. Matt 8:14-15. You should make provision for aged parents.

A partner should be able to adjust in the areas of language, food, clothing and greetings. However, any cultural heritage or custom that contradicts the christian principle of marriage should be utterly discarded. A woman should be respectful, amiable, generous, hospitable and caring to the members of the extended family. There must be communication between husband and wife. Talking with point and purpose is an essential ingredient of effective communication. Talking, listening and understanding are very important. Couple must be speaking the truth in love. Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth to one another. You must avoid filthy language. Kind and persuasive words and loving sentences and phrases should come from couples. These include "thank you darling", "it shall be well with you", "I love you honey", "we shall make it in Jesus name", "I am sorry dear"- when you need to apologise. I suggest we do this or that should be heard in a christian home. Not command like you must do this or that. Don't forget that when you make a vow to cleave and become one, part of the husband's body belongs to the wife and part of the wife's body belongs to the husband. You should not deny yourself of the part.

For decision making, even though the husband is the head, the woman should be given an opportunity to have a say in matters affecting the entire family. As you get along in marriage, you will be discovering your weaknesses or your limitations but don't forget that only God is perfect and we are all working towards perfection. Help each other in prayers, study the word together and live it. A family that prays together lives and stays together. Have a family altar, grow and develop spiritually. Never you make your spouse feel inferior or inadequate. Bring up yourself to the desired level you want educationally, socially and spiritually. It is advisable you empower each other with guidance of Holy Spirit. Correct in love and appreciate the good things in each other.

All habits may not be discovered during courtship, hence you need love and understanding. E.g. snoring is a habit and you may not discover until you start to live and sleep together. Don't capitalise on each other's weakness.

To be able to live together happily and successfully you need love, understanding, tact, tolerance and perseverance. Each spouse needs to adjust physically, emotionally and psychologically.

Prayer
May your marriage be blissful. May the Lord increase you in all size. May He grant you peace that passeth all understanding and prosper the work of your hand in Jesus name. Amen